At this point, you might be wondering things like, "why would they defile Santa Claus in such a way?" or "Why the fixation on human feces?" or "did I translate his name wrong, or was Santa Claus's name lost in the murky waters of toilet translation? I too had similar questions, until I saw with my very own eyes and personally experienced what exactly it's like to be a Catalan child on Christmas eve.
Normally, Santa Claus would just trespass through our chimeney, steal some food, leave behind some presents in our giant socks or under the indoor tree, and use his enslaved mutated red nosed reindeer to make a quick escape.
Here in Barcelona, however, children have to put in some work to get their presents. Surprisingly, Caga Tio is not actually a man. In fact, he is more closely related to the likes of Pinnochio, because Caga Tio is actually a quite handsomely decorated tree branch.
On December 8th, the night of the feast of the Immaculate Conception, families being to feed the Caga Tio leftovers from each night of the 12 days of Christmas. Caga Tio digests these leftovers into presents. So, the presents are located inside Caga Tio, somewhere in his colon I believe, and the children must beat the presents out of him. Yes, the children must literally "beat the shit" (read: "presents") out of this constipated Yule Log.
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| Here I am, beating the shit out of a small log while my roommates sing. The presents are underneath the blanket. |
You sing a song while beating him, and it goes like this;
"Caga tió,
caga torró,
avellanes i mató, si no cagues bé et daré un cop de bastó. caga tió!"
Which translates from Catalan to;
"Shit man,
Shit turron (delicious pastry),
Hazlenuts and Cottage Cheese,
If you don't shit well,
I will hit you with a stick.
Shit man."
Personally,with lyrical genius like that, I think that could be a hit single given the right producer. Also, I am fighting really hard to plug the bubbling volcano of poop jokes in my head. Even "bubbling volcano" becomes a horrible metaphor to use right now.
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Well, my Caga Tio must have eaten an interesting meal beforehand, because I managed to beat out a bottle of Catalan Liquer, a hat matching that of my Caga Tio, and a nativity scene character.
The liquer was a ratafia-licorice type alcohol, the hat went nicely with my complexion, but upon closer examination, the nativity character appeared to be defecating as well.
This is when I started to become confused, better yet, I didn't really know what to think -- my thoughts became rather constipated to say the least.
Apparently, the story goes that this pooping pastor, or "Caganer" (translates to "shitter,") drank a bit too much egg nog, and then proceeded to go leave poopy-presents on all of the nativity scenes in his pueblo. There are several stories that are rumored to be the 'true' one, and the only true fact is that this tradition began about 200 years ago in the 17th or 18th century. Usually, the Caganer gets tucked away in a corner, or hidden somewhere in the nativity scene for the children to find. Surprisingly, and provocatively enough, the Caganer supposedly symbolizes equality of all people, in the idea that even a drunk mess is still a person, just like baby Jesus. Regardless of race, class, gender, or economic status, the Caganer teaches the often overlooked and valuable lesson, that everyone poops. Basically, we're all human, drunkards and Jesus alike, and Catalans make a point of trying to teach the lesson of equality to their children in the often commercialized, materialistic economic-disparit-highlighting holiday that Christmas has become in today's society. By placing our pooping pal in the biblical idealism of a nativity scene, the Caganer brings a healthy toilet bowl full of humility and realism to the holiday.
I'm not too 'into' the holiday season, or very religious for that matter, but last time I checked, pooping men were probably the last thing you would see at the birth of baby Jesus. Then again, maybe that's why they needed all of that Frankincense and Mir. Either that, or maybe it's just a huge load of crap ( I was saving, or better yet, holding that one for a while).
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| I snuck a picture of Caganer and Caga Tio bonding over their mutual love of everything bowel movement related. |
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| My roommates and I at dinner before Caga Tio showed up. What a party pooper ! (hur hur hur) |
Palabra del Dia: La Navidad - Christmas
Caga Tio es un parte gracioso de La Navidad Catalan. Shit Man is a funny part of the Catalan Christmas.
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